Sunday, May 1, 2011

Moving On: A 3-Step Process

"Baby, I found someone new. Will you set me free?"

"This relationship is not working. It is better to end this."

"Oh, I"m sorry darling, but I'm not inlove with you anymore."

Ouch! It hurts, right? Love feels like heaven and its loss hurts like hell. When a break-up comes, expect tears, pain, sorrow and sleepless nights. It seems like you're carrying the whole world. You would always asked yourself: "Will I be able to move on?" Of course you can, if you are willing to help yourself!

Moving on is not easy. It is a process. It takes time. How will you be able to move on when all those memories keep haunting you? How will be able to go on with your life when you lost someone who is your greatest dream? Your future? Your beloved? Will you just let yourself to be trapped? Or just bless the parting and move on? Choose the latter? How?

You have to accept it! Face the reality, and then detach! Release! Forgive and start a new life.

Acceptance is very important. It is a way that you can make peace with yourself and the other one involved. Understand that almost everything in this world is impermanent, thus always give yourself a room for a change. That's reality! That's the truth. It hurts, yes it does, but it can set you free so just face it.

Next is detachment or release. According to Morrie Swartz, "detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience or emotion penetrate you, on the contrary, you let it penetrate it fully." That's how you are able to leave it. Don't be a great pretender. It will do you no good. Cry if you want! Feel the pain! Don't run from it because it will go after you. It will hurt you. If you are so afraid to feel the pain, you would not be able to recognize it, and you can't move on then. But once you let the emotion penetrate you, you'll get acquainted with it. So, you don't have to dwell on that emotion forever. Once you feel the pain, you know it's pain. Upon recogniozing it, you can say, "Oh! I know it's pain and I'm through with it. I must put this aside." That was Morrie taught Mitch during that latter's 6th Tuesday visit with Morrie. (From the book "Tuesdays with Morrie").

Lastly, you must forgive and start a new life. Forgive yourself and the person who hurt you. It's not easy but it's worth it. Don't dwell on the past. You can never change it. Instead, focus your energy on the future.

Are you ready? Start moving on now! Don't ruin your life to a person who doesn't deserve your tears, who doesn't see your worth and doesn't love you back. Life is too short and too precious to be wasted on the crap.

This insights above helped me a lot during those times that I am heartbroken. It helped me a little bit. It gave me idea on what to do so I can moved on. That's why, I share it with you especially to those who undergo break ups. I got this insight from the JOSEPHINIAN magazine (Saint Joseph College magazine). To all heartbrokens, good luck in moving on! I'm through with it and I can say that, experiencing pain makes me more stronger. God bless!

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